Resistance

Journal#4

Resistance

 

Old ID picture

Before when I was a kid, I was “technically” kicked out from my former school, my memory of that time is now very hazy and I cannot remember the things that I’ve done that made me switch school all I know is I was the youngest trouble maker in the history of the school due to the fact that according to those people who can remember what occurred before, I was on probation ever since kinder 1. When I switched school it was almost the same situation, it felt like de javu in the form of bullying and violence, I remember when I switched school it was a total 180 degrees change for me, I promised to myself that I wouldn’t ever cause trouble again, I wouldn’t ever do anything that would hurt my mother and father’s reputation. And so I changed, for me it was a resistance because coming from the previous school, the expectation from me, from the new school, the principals and the teachers is I’m just a troublemaker. However I fought it, I fought the urge to be “makulit” and to be “naughty” and in turn I became a good student or so I believe. Until I was bullied because I was considered as too goody two shoes, too neat and too behave for a boy of that age. I remember they called me “bakla” because of that and in my head it was like, I was like that before and I’m just controlling myself so that I wouldn’t get into trouble yet again. It bothered me that time and so I joined them in their activities, and I remember the activity that was famous back then was wrestling, and so I was wrestling with my classmates although at that point I was very cautious as to not get caught by teachers. At first this bothered them due to the fact that I was a goody two shoe and I was just trying to fit in to them so that the name calling would stop but eventually it stopped. I made a resistance over their activity and I infiltrated it, and everything stopped. Those people who name called me before became my close friends. They may not notice it but I made my resistance.